1. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
2. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.
3. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
4. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
5. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
\\ tags: Albert Einstein
This is a hilarious conversation on AIM. At the time that I was seeding this, the seeded link was not working, so I copied the conversation here. Will change once its working.
br0kenrabbit: hi
Greg_ValveOLS: good evening
br0kenrabbit: What’s ip?
br0kenrabbit: up?
Greg_ValveOLS: my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team
br0kenrabbit: On MSN?
Greg_ValveOLS: yes
br0kenrabbit: Why?
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For all the geeks out there, do you know someone who tried to teach themselves how to read Barcode? Here is a list of Geek quotes, sayings and phrases. Some of them are from Boardofwisdom who put together a nice compilation themselves.
#1. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. All my base Are belong to you — someone on SlashDot
#2. There is no place like 127.0.0.1
#3. Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken
#4. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
#5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination. — Albert Einstein
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.
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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
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Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
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Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”
Richard grinned. “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
Yo momma so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
That’s a prime example of a ‘Yo Momma’ joke, a genre so popular it became the basis for a series of no-holds-barred competitions on MTV. Produced and hosted by actor Wilmer Valderrama, matches were held on successive seasons in Los Angeles, New York and Atlanta.
From Monday to Thursday, the show pitted the toughest trash talkers against one another. Each team of contestants battled it out in front of a rowdy live audience of their peers. The four winners then came back on Friday for a Best of the Week. Here are 98 more prime examples of Yo Momma humor:
Yo momma so fat,
1. she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
2. when she tripped over on Fourth Avenue, she landed on Twelfth.
3. she’s got her own area code.
4. when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.
5. she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
6. whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
7. she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of March.
8. she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her for the New World.
\\ tags: Jokes
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