The scientific consensus is that life began as a chance event in which just the right mix of organic compounds was acted upon by an energy source so that growth and reproduction could occur. The earliest life would not resemble today’s highly evolved version, but more likely was a kind of scaffold that had the essential properties of life. The scaffold was left behind when more efficient living systems evolved.

Hoyle and Wickramasinghe did not subscribe to this view. Instead, they elaborated a version of panspermia, an older idea championed in 1903 by the great Swedish chemist Svante Arrhenius. Arrhenius proposed that life exists everywhere in the universe and was delivered to the Earth when frozen extraterrestrial bacteria or spores, drifting as interstellar dust through the galaxy, happened to land here four billion years ago and found our planet to be habitable. Hoyle took it a step further when he claimed that this was still happening, that epidemics such as the flu pandemic of 1918 were actually caused by extraterrestrial organisms in the tails of comets.

I met Wickramasinghe in 1986 at the Tidbinbilla radio telescope observatory near Canberra, Australia, and asked whether he and Hoyle really thought that  interstellar space was infested with bacteria. He was quite certain of it, he said, noting that the infrared spectrum of interstellar dust closely matched that of dried, frozen bacteria. I mentioned that I was working with the astronomer Lou Allamandola at NASA Ames Research Center, who had demonstrated that the infrared spectrum could be reproduced by ordinary non-living compounds called polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs for short). This seemed a much more plausible explanation than a galaxy full of bacteria. Wickramasinghe had a ready retort: “It is up to you to prove that they are not bacteria.”

This was my first experience with someone who is not swayed by Occam’s Razor and the weight of evidence. Scientists are like investors, but instead of money, the capital they have to spend is time, limited to roughly 40 years of active research. Good scientists are constantly making judgment calls to decide where to invest their time. They hope their investment will be profitable, not necessarily in monetary terms (that rarely happens) but rather in revealing significant new knowledge. But a few scientists spend their lives seeking unusual explanations that others would immediately discard as implausible. Most often the ideas turn out to be not just implausible, but wrong. However, once in awhile a wild idea is beautifully, wonderfully correct, and overturns a paradigm. George Gamow had one such idea, which Hoyle jokingly referred to as the “Big Bang”, and in a later column I will tell you about Peter Mitchell, another maverick whose implausible idea taught us how energy is made available in every living cell.

The game of life

Getting back to the main story, carbon and the other biogenic elements synthesized in stars can be delivered to planetary surfaces like the Earth and Mars during planet formation, mostly in the form of organic carbon compounds and carbon dioxide. These are chemically processed into a variety of other organic molecules which in turn assembled into the first living systems of self-reproducing molecules.  How could this possibly happen? After all, a living cell is incredibly complex.

I think the answer lies in the fact that  even though a list of life’s atomic and molecular components is relatively short, complexity can be produced by the exponentially large number of possible interactions among those components, subject to fairly straightforward laws of chemistry and physics. Think about the game of checkers. The parts are very simple, just black and red pieces on a checkerboard with 64 squares, and the rules that govern the way the pieces move about on the board are also easy to understand. However, the situations arising during an actual game of checkers are so complex that only in 2007, using the most powerful computer, was the game completely analyzed. (It turns out that if two players make perfect moves, the game always ends in a tie.)

In living organisms, as in checkers,  immense complexity arises from the way specific rules govern a few basic pieces. Instead of two colors of checker pieces, life is based on six elements abbreviated CHONPS, as described in last week’s column. Carbon ( C ) phosphorus (P) and sulfur (S) are solids at ordinary temperature, and hydrogen (H) oxygen (O) and nitrogen (N) are gases. These elements comprise over 99 percent of the water and organic matter in a living cell. One of the chemical rules of life is that the six biogenic elements combine into four basic kinds of molecules, which in turn assemble into the structures that make a cell. This is the reason that CHONPS are the biogenic elements. No other group of six elements could be assembled into a set of simple molecules that can readily be linked together into chains called proteins and nucleic acids.

Starting with elemental carbon, it is an interesting exercise to construct four basic kinds of biomolecules, adding one more biogenic element at each step to show how complexity increases.

Carbon by itself: Nada, unless you like graphite and diamonds.

Hydrogen and carbon are easy: they compose the hydrocarbon chains of fat, cholesterol and phospholipids, collectively referred to as lipids.

Carbon, hydrogen and oxygen: Another easy one — carbohydrates, or “watery carbon.”

Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen: Amino acids of course.

Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen and phosphorus: A little more challenging, but there is only one biomolecule left: nucleic acids.

Oops… forgot sulfur — a couple of amino acids contain sulfur, and one class of lipids.

And there you have it, the main players in the game of life. But where did they come from for the game to begin?

Two of my scientific colleagues – Bill Irvine and Lou Allamandola – introduced me to a fundamental yet little known fact of life: We live in an organic universe. Twenty years ago, when I first heard Bill speak at a conference on the origin of life, I naively wondered why a radio astronomer would be invited. But then as he began to show his slides, the mystery was solved.

Really cold matter in molecular clouds emits radiation in the microwave region, with each chemical bond in a compound producing a specific wavelength. If the radiation is detected with a radio telescope and then analyzed, it is possible to decipher the kinds of bonds present and determine the nature of the compound. Bill presented clear evidence that dense molecular clouds, the nurseries of stars and solar systems, had nearly a hundred kinds  of organic compounds present.  Some of these are familiar, such as  cyanide, formaldehyde, methanol, ethanol, formic acid (named after formica, Latin for ants that release formic acid as a sour spray when disturbed), and acetic acid, the sour component of vinegar. Others are truly exotic, including one with a chain of nine carbon atoms and one nitrogen atom at the end. Such a weird compound could not exist on Earth, but in the cold of outer space it is stable.

The connection between radio astronomy and the origin of life became obvious as I listened to Bill. If molecular clouds give rise to stars, planets and solar systems, maybe some of the organic matter in the clouds was delivered to the early Earth four billion years ago to help life get started. Next week I will describe an experiment in which the synthesis of organic compounds on interstellar dust particles was simulated in Lou Allamandola’s lab at NASA Ames.

By Dave Deamer

We know you have other things to read, like a Top 10 list of String Theory jokes, somewhere so we’ll get right to it.

10. Tecticornia bibenda. One of two on this list that seems to have made it for no other reason than that press releases gave it a catchy nickname, in this case the “Michelin Man™” plant, and that really appeals to fame-seeking biologists who want to have mass appeal. If this actually looks like the Michelin Man™ to you, you’re just being argumentative.

Reference: Shepherd, K.A., & S.J. Van Leeuwen. 2007. Tecticornia bibenda (Chenopodiaceae: Salicornioideae) a new C4 samphire from the Little Sandy Desert, Western Australia. Nuytsia 16: 383-391.

9. Megaceras briansaltini. At ASU they note that this horned beetle looks like the one in a Disney movie – “A Bug’s Life.” We are mostly surprised anyone watched that film. There’s “Little Mermaid” and “Toy Story” and “Cars” and then a whole lot of crap in between them.

Reference: Ratcliffe, B.C. 2007. A remarkable new species of Megaceras from Peru (Scarabaeidae: Dynastinae: Oryctini). The “Dim Effect”: Nature mimicking art. The Coleopterists Bulletin 61(3): 463-467.

8. Malo kingi. It’s small consolation but American tourist Robert King had this named after him because he died after being stung by it while swimming in Australia. USA! USA!

Reference: Gershwin, L.A. 2007. Malo kingi: A new species of Irukandji jellyfish (Cnidaria: Cubozoa: Carybdeida), possibly lethal to humans, from Queensland, Australia. Zootaxa 1659: 55-68.

7. Xerocomus silwoodensis. Think there’s nothing fun to do in London? You and the rest of the planet agree. But this swank new mushroom was discovered on a campus of Imperial College. Discovering a new mushroom in 2007 on the campus of a major university in an ancient city like London tells you biologists still know jack about species.

Reference: Taylor, A.F.S., A.E. Hills, G. Simonini, J.A. Muñoz and U. Eberhardt. 2007. Xerocomus silwoodensis sp. nov., a new species within the European X. subtomentosus complex. Mycological Research 111: 403-408.

6. Styloctenium mindorensis. Seriously, is that not the cutest fruit bat you have ever seen? It’s only the second species of the genus, the other one being discovered by Alfred Russell Wallace, who co-authored a famous paper with a guy named – oh, yeah – Charles Darwin.

Reference: Esselstyn, J.A. 2007. A new species of stripe-faced fruit bat (Chiroptera: Pteropodidae: Styloctenium) from the Philippines. Journal of Mammalogy 88: 951-958.

5. Oxyuranus temporalis. Doesn’t rank higher because one of its cousins is the most venomous snake on the planet and this must settle for number two on that list. Only one has ever been found so it may have bitten itself before it could reproduce.

Reference: Doughty, P., B. Maryan, S.C. Donnellan & M.N. Hutchinson. 2007. A new species of taipan (Elapidae: Oxyuranus) from central Australia. Zootaxa 1422: 45-58.

4. Philautus maia. Identified from a single female museum specimen collected around 1860. It and a number of related frog species from Sri Lanka are almost certainly now extinct. Why do Sri Lankans hate frogs so much? We will never know.

Reference: Meegaskumbura, M., K. Manamendra-Arachchi, C.J. Schneider & R. Pethiyagoda. 2007. New species amongst Sri Lanka’s extinct shrub frogs Amphibia: Rhacophoridae: Philautus). Zootaxa 1397: 1-15.

3. Desmoxytes purpurosea. This millipede knows its shocking pink is so distasteful to predators it doesn’t even bother to hide. That’s bold, baby.

Reference: H. Enghoff, C. Sutcharit & S. Panha. 2007. The shocking pink dragon millipede, Desmoxytes purpurosea, a colourful new species from Thailand (Diplopoda: Polydesmida: Paradoxosomatidae). Zootaxa 1563: 31-36.

2. Gryposaurus monumentensis. An accredited paleontology museum on a high school campus? Indeed, and Alf Museum made this nifty gigantic discovery before lots of fancy-pants universities with fat NCAA contracts.

Reference: Gates, T.A. & S.D. Sampson. 2007. A new species of Gryposaurus (Dinosauria: Hadrosauridae) from the late Campanian Kaiparowits Formation, southern Utah, USA. Zoological Journal of the Linnean Society 151: 351-376.

1. Electrolux addisoni. Yes, “the name sucks” has already been taken by approximately 10,000 other sites so we’ll just say we love the newest ornate sleeper ray member of the electric ray family Narkidae. This mostly got on the list because of the name. Zoologists are soooo edgey.

Reference: Compagno, L.J.V. & P.C. Heemstra. 2007. Electrolux addisoni, a new genus and species of electric ray from the east coast of South Africa (Rajiformes: Torpedinoidei: Narkidae), with a review of torpedinoid taxonomy. Smithiana Bulletin 7: 15-49.

By News Staff

1. The record for the longest period without sleep is over 18 days. This person experienced hallucinations, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory lapses.

2. It is almost impossible to tell if someone is really awake without medical supervision. People can have naps with their eyes open and not even know it.

3. Elephants lie down during REM sleep, but sleep standing up during non-REM sleep.

4. What is commonly known as the the “natural alarm clock” which allows people to wake up when they want, is caused by the stress hormone adrenocorticotropin.

5. The tiny rays of light from a digital alarm clock can actually be enough to disrupt your sleep cycle.

6. On average humans sleep about three hours less than other primates.

7. Ducks are able to balance the need for sleep and survival by keeping one half of the brain awake and other half in sleep mode.

8. Most of what we know about sleep we’ve learned in the past 25 years.

9. It has been suggested that the availability of the internet is one of the major influences of sleep distractions.

10. Studies suggest that women need up to an hour’s extra sleep a night compared to men.

By Twiggy

Pruning synapses may be a practical necessity to keep the brain from being overwhelmed, says Paul Shaw, coauthor of the second study (also published in Science). “There are a number of reasons why the brain can’t indefinitely add synapses – including the finite spatial constraints of the skull. We were able to track the creation of new synapses in fruit flies during learning experiences – and to show that sleep pushed that number back down” [Telegraph], he says.

In the first study, Cirelli and her colleagues show that proteins found in the synapses build up in fruit fly brains while the flies are awake. Depriving flies of sleep leads to ever-greater levels of synaptic proteins, the researchers show. Levels of the proteins decrease as the flies sleep [Science News]. The researchers couldn’t directly determine synaptic strength because fruit fly brains are too small to allow them to measure electric activity between neurons; however, they say that measuring the proteins is a valid indirect gauge of synaptic strength.

Meanwhile, Shaw’s lab had previously determined that fruit flies sleep longer following social interactions, rather like a human who has been through a busy day. His team then showed that the brains of socially isolated flies contained fewer synaptic terminals than flies subjected to social enrichment, and that the number of terminals decreased in flies that were allowed to sleep. “I think our data shows the first signs of real structural changes,” he said [The Scientist].

by Eliza Strickland

Experts have pinpointed the part of the brain that guides people when they are battling with difficult moral dilemmas, according to a study.

Highly-sophisticated brain scans show that the response is linked to certain areas usually associated with primitive emotions of sex, fear and anger.

The findings, revealed by the Observer, are to be published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

They are a significant departure into an area of expertise that has long been regarded as one of religion and philosophy.

Study author Dilip Jeste, professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at the University of California in San Diego, said: ‘Our research suggests there may be a basis in neurobiology for wisdom’s most universal traits.’

He and colleague Thomas Meeks discovered that a person weighing up an issue that just called for an altruistic response used the medial prefrontal cortext of the brain.

This is linked to intelligence and learning.

But when someone is battling with a moral dilemma, other areas of the brain are used such as the parts linked to rational thought and primitive emotions.

Mr Meeks said: ‘Several brain regions appear to be involved in different components of wisdom. It seems to involve a balance between more primitive brain regions, like the limbic system, and the newest ones, such as the prefrontal cortex.’

This type of research has only become possible in recent years due to technological advances in brain scanning, including functional magnetic resonance imaging.

This means experts can examine which parts of the brain that are used when people consider various tasks.

Such research has been made possible by the increasing sophistication of brain scanning techniques, such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

These allow researchers to see which parts of the brain become active when people undertake mental tasks.

Professor Jeste admitted the possibility that wisdom and free will are based on the make-up of someone’s brain rather than metaphysics is unsettling.

But he said: ‘Knowledge of the underlying mechanisms in the brain could potentially lead to developing interventions for enhancing wisdom.’

By Daily Mail Reporter

7 ) The Kelly-Hopkinsville Encounter

Not all alien invasion stories are created equal. In fact, all of them pale in comparison to the Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter because it involves rednecks, alien goblins, and guns. On the night of August 21, 1955, a Kentucky farmer went outside to get a drink of water and claimed to have seen a “flying saucer” crash in a nearby gully. Everyone laughed at him and suggested that he was either lying or hallucinating.

The Bizarre:

A few minutes later the group saw a three foot tall creature glide towards them. It had an over-sized head, pointy ears, glowing eyes, was dressed in silver metal, had large talons on its hands, and had them raised towards the sky. The group responded like any of us would: they grabbed their guns and started shooting at it. But it just somersaulted away and for the next few hours the group was harangued by a group of goblins that didn’t get hurt by gunfire and seemed to just want to peer inside the house.

Possible Explanation:

The best explanation is that they were shit-faced on moonshine and were shooting at owls. But the police was very adamant in stating that the group was not under the influence of alcohol and drugs and “sincere and sane and that they had no interest in exploiting the case for publicity.”

6 ) The Dancing Mania of Aachen

Not the Tito Puente album, but a craze that swept across Europe and lasted for about 300 years. On June 24, 1374, a large group of people started dancing through the streets of Aachen, Germany, engaging in orgies and screaming about visions. They foamed at their mouths, talked in tongues, and kept dancing even after collapsing from exhaustion. It quickly caught on and rapidly spread through the rest of Europe.

The Bizarre:

Obvious Thriller joke aside, what made the entire scenario even better was the fact that the first solution was to attempt to pray away the mania. Large religious ceremonies were staged on counter the movement because it was thought to be a form of demonic possession. When that failed, anytime a dance mania would kick off musicians would accompany the afflicted in hopes that it would “treat” them.

Possible Explanation:

There are a few: Michael Jackson turned into a werecat after asking his girlfriend to go steady, ergot poisoning, or mass delusions. You decide which one you like better.

5 ) The Dyatlov Pass Accident

In something that the Blair Witch Project apparently ripped off, nine Russian cross-country skiers went on a trek through the Ural Mountains in 1959. They were forced to set up camp during a snow storm but something scared them enough to make a mad dash through the harsh subzero weather towards a nearby forest wearing practically nothing. Not surprisingly, all were found dead afterwards. None of them had any signs of outward trauma.

The Bizarre:

Since no Cher CDs were found it is unknown why they would dash into the snow to die, but other hikers in the area swear there were strange lights in the sky. Five were found to have died of simple hypothermia – it appears that they just ran out into the cold and froze to death – but four were found in strange circumstances: two had crushed ribs, one had a crushed skull, and one was missing her tongue. These four were dosed with radiation and families swear that their skin turned orange and their hair white.

Possible Explanation:

No tongue? FUCK! Aliens! Buzz-kills want us to believe that an avalanche or a weapons test gone wrong caused the deaths, but there is no evidence of either, and most records were lost after the fall of the USSR or are still sealed.

4 ) The Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305 Hijacking

On November 24, 1971, a man that resembled Michael Douglas’ character in Falling Down sat down and requested a bourbon with soda. The man is D.B. Cooper and he is about to become an American legend. After lighting a cigarette he passed the stewardess a note saying that he’ll detonate a bomb if he isn’t given $200,000 in cash and four parachutes.

The Bizarre:

After the FBI gives him the money and parachutes, he straps it to himself and asks for the plane to go to Mexico City. After 45 minutes in the air he offers each of the stewardesses a $2,000 tip, opens a door in the back, and bails into the darkness and rain.

Possible Explanation:

He had balls that were made of diamonds. Expert experienced paratrooper and skydivers swear that there is no way he could have survived the jump but no body is ever found. A few people come forward, either claiming to be D.B. Cooper or claiming to know who he was, but DNA evidence disproves their claims.

3 ) The May Day Mystery

Every May 1st since 1981, a cryptic ad has been placed in the Arizona Daily Wildcat.

The Bizarre:

At first glance they are just gibberish, but analysis by fans has revealed that they seem to be laying out a story that involves The Orphanage, a secret society that is placing the ads, that wants to give away The Prize, which is a reward that is in a safe deposit box for whoever solves the mystery. The Orphanage transports White Rabbit/Wonder Bread, which are unknown items, and seem to have some obsession with Martin Luther because his image appears on a lot of the ads.

Possible Explanation:

The super-model-sexy explanation is that there is a super secret society that is trying to see if anyone out there is smart enough to crack their code. The seeing-your-grandmother-naked explanation is that the ads are placed by Robert Truman Hungerford, an eccentric lawyer that claims to be the legal counsel for “The Brotherhood”, and that he is bat shit insane.

2 ) The Max Headroom Signal Piracy Incident

On a typical Chicago night on November 22, 1987, someone wearing a Max Headroom mask managed to hijack a broadcast signal twice – once CBS and once PBS. Pirating a broadcast signal is incredibly hard. According to the FBI the cost of doing something like this could range from a couple thousand dollars to over $25,000.

The Bizarre:

The first intrusion took place while CBS was going through sports scores. “Max” appeared for about 30 seconds and swayed in front of a corrugated metal sheet until CBS killed his signal. The second intrusion took place while PBS was showing an episode of Doctor Who. “Max” appeared around 11:15 PM and started dancing around while saying random phrases. He then decided to moon the viewers and was spanked by someone wearing a dress with a flyswatter. Then the signal blacked out. It pissed off Doctor Who fans to the point that one remarked: “I got so upset that I wanted to bust the TV set… I really did.”

Possible Explanation:

The most badass one is that it was a bored hacker that wanted to show off his abilities. The not as awesome, but still interesting one is that someone had a grudge against the CBS station. The philosophical one is that he used Max Headroom because it was set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland ruled by TV corporations and freedom fighters spread their message by hijacking TV feeds. But either way, no one knows, because “Max” covered his trail extremely well and there is practically no evidence anymore.

1 ) The Lead Masks Case

Some crazy shit happens in Brazil, there are parts of Rio de Janeiro where pilots refuse to fly over out of fears that slum lords will shoot them down. So, it is only natural that mysterious deaths have to involve UFOs. On August 20, 1966, in Niteroi, the bodies of two healthy men in their 30s were found on a hilltop. Both men were wearing half-masks made of lead that covered the upper half of their faces. A notebook keeping diagrams and partially coded notes along with a strange letter was found with the bodies.

The Bizarre:

Lead masks aside, the autopsies revealed that both men were healthy and had died when their hearts just stopped beating. The notebook contained references to the Ohm equation and the letter appeared to be instructions to appear at the hilltop, swallow orange capsules, and to wait for the “promised sign.” Naturally, people came forward to claim that strange orange objects were hovering over the hilltop the same day. When investigators searched one of the men’s workshop they found a book that discussed scientific spiritualism in which passages dealing with masks and intense rays of light were marked.

Possible Explanation:

No Madonna CDs were found, so it isn’t sure why they were obsessed with rays of light. Theories about aliens, psychics, cults, etc started to spread but none had any evidence. The police closed the investigation saying: “I have no doubt they died of an experiment with psychic forces, for which they were ill-prepared and which turned out to be fatal.”

Source: http://ty.rannosaur.us/

1. Michael Arrington

Being the god-king of tech blogs isn’t easy (unless your name is Pete Cashmore and you can stare at yourself in a mirror), just ask Michael Arrington. He spends most of his panda-like existence blogging and picking fights with anyone that dares to criticize him. Most of the hate for Arrington comes from TechCrunch’s popularity, insane anger, and general douchebaggery towards anyone he considers lower than him.

2. Julia Allison

Famous for her attempts at getting famous, blogger Julia Allison has been hated on sites like Gawker since she first appeared in 2006. A legion of commenters descends from the skies like the monkeys from The Wizard of Oz to shit and piss all over the place with comments about her thighs whenever she writes a blog post about whatever tech company founder she is dating.

3. Tila Tequila

Sometime in 2006, Tila polished the turd of being an internet softcore pornstar into Tila Tequila, a pop singer and MTV dating show host. The neckbeards and fat lesbians that were sloughed off during her transformation were not amused by the sudden drought in Tila porn and act like a loosely connected terrorist cell that appear to raise doubts about her sexuality and to compare her forehead to a dolphin’s.

4. Casey Serin

In 2005, Casey Serin racked up $2.2 million in debt to flip houses for massive profits. Only, he was armed with MC Hammer’s financial powers and couldn’t sell most of the houses in the collapsing market. His blogs are the target of a hate so pure from The Haterz, an organized group of real estate and finance bloggers, that they could bottle and sell it for a higher profit than Serin could ever manage.

5. Lori Drew

The world was shocked that attractive people on MySpace could be middle-aged helicopter moms when, in 2007, bloggers outed Lori Drew as the person that used a sock puppet to harass 13-year-old Megan Meier until she committed suicide. The lack of remorse from Drew has angered the internet to the point that most are willing to give up some free speech to send her to jail under broad hacking laws.

6. Jason Fortuny

In 2006, the media exploded in a Bastille of anger when Jason Fortuny realized Craigslist is used only to troll for sex, posed as a woman, and posted the responses to his LiveJournal (obviously NSFW) where commenters identified and hassled responders. He then created Megan Had It Coming, posing as Drew posing as Megan’s friend, and was flummoxed that he is considered a bag of dicks for coming out as the author.

7. Michael Crook

If Fortuny is a bag of dicks then Michael Crook is the dick bank where Scrooge McCock swims around in an endless sea of dicks. He is best known for using DMCA takedown notices to harass bloggers that mocked his appearance on Fox News to defend Forsake the Troops, a site that claims troops are overpaid parasites, until a 2007 EFF lawsuit made him literally apologize to the internet.

8. David Motari

David Motari’s Bebo profile says he is happiest “hittin the gym”, “eating”, and “cruisin”, but fails to mention his love for tossing puppies of cliffs. in 2008, a YouTube video showing him doing that appeared and bloggers became fixed with ruining his life. To their credit, the USMC investigated the issue as soon as the video appeared and ended up discharging him.

9. Tim Buckley

Other webcomic creators hate Ctrl-Alt-Delete, Tim Buckley’s webcomic about stroke victims that are unable to close their mouths but love video games and have miscarriages, because of Buckley’s inability to take criticism, lazy art, and excessive dialogue. Former fans hate him for banning thousands of forum members in 2005 after it was alleged that he sent naked pictures of himself to an under-aged forum member.

10. Eric Bauman

The Carlos Mencia of the internet, Eric Bauman is hated by everyone that encounters him but eBaum’s World still manages to scrape on. YTMND DDoS attacks, Anonymous attributing raids to him, and all sorts of other drama stem from Bauman’s unrepentant attitude towards watermarking stolen content. In fact, hate for Eric Bauman and eBaum’s World is what powers the internet.

Source: http://ty.rannosaur.us/

10 ) Socrates

Credited as one of the founders of Western philosophy, Socrates was also well known for his piggish features. Alcibiades, an Athenian general and student of Socrates, compared his appearance to Silenus. Silenus was a legendary follower of Dionysus that was portrayed as morbidly obese, constantly drunk, and balding.

Zopyrus, a rival philosopher that believed people should be judged on appearance alone, said that Socrates was “stupid, brutal, sensual, and addicted to drunkenness”, making him an ugly yet sexy drunk. When his followers violently objected, Socrates stepped in and said that the reading was on the mark.

9 ) Attila the Hun

Practically unstoppable, Attila almost wiped out Western civilization until Pope Leo I talked him out of sacking Rome. According to Hollywood he looked like Gerard Butler, better known as Leonidas from 300, since Butler played him in the 2001 television series.

The reality is that he looked more like Shrek. Passages from history describe an extremely short man, built like an ogre, who so hideous that he was “human and yet not.” He is described with a bulbous head, flat nose, moist nostrils, beady eyes, and thin beard. None of this stopped him from marrying 12 beautiful women and dying while devirginizing his last one.

8 ) Tannakin Skinker

The epitome of a butterface, Skinker was born to a rich 17th century German family. Her parents kept her deformity secret for years, until news about the “hog-faced gentlewoman” leaked out and people started lining up for hours to catch a glimpse. The family attempted to use the hype to marry her off, dressing her in the finest bejeweled clothes to draw attention away from her face and offering a massive dowry to anyone brave enough to marry her. One man stepped up, saying: “Put her head in a black bagge and what difference between her and another woman?” Then her veil was lifted and he hightailed it out of there. Skinker died a single woman.

7 ) Frederick North

An 18th century Prime Minister of Great Britain, Lord North embraced his unattractive appearance. He insisted that his portraits accurately depict that he was a portly man with thick lips and eyes that bulged from his face. While at a dinner party he was asked about the “frightful woman” sitting across from him. He informed the man that it was his wife. Realizing his blunder the man said that he meant the “monster next to her.” North simply replied: “That is my daughter, and I may tell you, sir, that we are considered to be three of the ugliest people in London.”

6 ) Jean-Paul Marat

Considered to be one of the most important men in French history, Marat was best known for his rabble rousing journalism during the French Revolution and his harsh stance against the new government. He spent most of his time in a bathtub to get relief from a bunch of skin diseases he picked up while hiding in the French sewer system. His supporters described him as short, squat, and blessed with an “unflagging malodor.” His enemies simply called him repulsive and one eventually assassinated him while he was in the bathtub.

5 ) Queen Charlotte

Before Photoshop there was the court painter.  It was rumored that King George III’s insanity was caused by the trauma of having sex with Queen Charlotte. Wikipedia describes her as “plain faced.” Thankfully, no 18th century Londoners can edit Wikipedia because when she first arrived to take her throne she was greeted with cries of “pug-face.” When she inquired about the chants her translators told her it meant “God bless her Majesty.”

4 ) George Lewes

Lewes became a 19th century celebrity due to his ability to carry on a conversation with practically anyone and for writing a famous biography of Gothe. He was also considered to be one of the ugliest men in England due to his buck teeth and oddly shaped head. He took this to heart and and attempted to hide his flaws with a large beard. Douglas Jerrold, a particularly savage writer, once said that the chimpanzee at the Zoological Gardens died “out of jealousy, because there existed a creature more hideous than itself!”

3  ) Julia Pastrana

Pastrana was a 19th century Mexican that was born with hypertrichosis terminalis, a condition that caused her face and most of her body to be covered in straight dark hair. Theodore Lent bought her from her mother in order to teach her to sing and play music. He then exploited her on a worldwide tour called “Bearded and Hairy Lady.” He eventually married her to secure all rights to her likeness. When she was pregnant with his child he sold tickets to the birth. The deformed child survived for 3 days and Pastrana died from complications afterwards. None of this stopped Lent, who simply had her and the child embalmed, placed in a glass case, and sent on a lucrative world tour. He was eventually committed to a mental institution.

2 ) J. G. Biggar

A 19th century Irish nationalist, Biggar basically invented the filibuster by talking down anything related to the Irish Coercion Act. The first time Biggar stood up to give a speech, Benjamin Disraeli asked, “What creature is that?” After being informed it was Biggar, Disraeli remarked: “Oh! I thought it had been a Leprechaun, one of those things that comes out in the moonlight to dance with fairies.” Disraeli wasn’t just being a dick. Biggar was born with a hunch, forcing him to walk with a cane, had large Hobbitesque feet, a “face like a gargoyle”, and skinny bony fingers. He also suffered from a speech impediment, making his long speeches highly effective in their ability to clear the room.

1 ) Joseph Merrick

The Elephant Man is probably the most famously ugly person in history. He suffered from Proteus syndrome, a genetic disorder that caused bony growths and tumors over large sections of his body. He walked with an odd hobble and often wore a cap and hood that covered his face. Even though he was highly intelligent, easy going, and artistically inclined he was relegated to working the freak show circuit because he was otherwise unemployable. Merrick was obsessed with attempting to live a normal life and ended up passing away when the weight of his head snapped his spine while he was asleep.

Bonus: Sarah Jessica Parker

Aside from Michael Jackson, I can’t think of a single person that is alive today that gets as much flak as Sarah Jessica Parker does for their physical appearance.  She was voted unsexiest woman alive by Maxim, practically all of the comments on her AskMen profile compare her to a horse, and yes, there is actually a website called Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse.  Ouch.

Source: http://ty.rannosaur.us/

6 ) Sir Isaac Newton

The English writer that came up with The Three Laws of Motion was also puritanical, rarely smiled, and was a lifelong bachelor. All those years of not chasing women made him one crabby bastard, he was famous for his violent anger towards those he felt had spited him. He spent years hounding Gottfried Leibniz over the discovery of calculus. He kept a list of all the sins he had committed in his life and it included such horrible things like: “Making pies on Sunday night”, “squirting water”, and “peevishness.”

5 ) Søren Kierkegaard

The Danish philosopher that basically created Existentialism was also a hunchback. The original emo kid, Kierkegaard was famously depressed and considered it to be his “most faithful mistress.” Which is good, because he considered sex to be an abomination. It may have had to do with a girlfriend he once had: he was briefly engaged until he broke it off but never got over her. He spent the rest of his years trying to win her back through indirect communication and his writings. Titles like Fear and Trembling made sure she never talked to him.

4 ) J.M. Barrie

The Scottish novelist that came up with the idea for Peter Pan after his grieving mother enjoyed watching him dress up as his dead brother and wished he would never grow up or get older. Her wishes came true, seeing as how Barrie never grew taller than 5 feet tall. He blamed his height for his inability to meet women but somehow managed to land a gorgeous actress as a wife. But it became clear he wasn’t interested in sleeping with her on their wedding night and he never bothered to consummate the marriage.

3 ) George Frederic Handel

The German composer that wrote some of the most famous operas and inspired Beethoven and Mozart. Aside from having some of the most awe inspiring hair ever, he also got into a fist fight with Johann Mattheson over who should play the harpsichord. When King George II asked why he wasn’t married, he simply responded with: “I have no time for anything but music.”

2 ) Mohandas Gandhi

The Indian nationalist that pushed for independence from the British through non-violence and is best known for being skinny. Gandhi was married and had children but decided to put the kibosh on that in his 30s so he could control his “vital fluids.” He would have panic attacks after waking up from nocturnal emissions and would often test his celibacy in the most Hugh Hefner of ways: he’d get young women to massage him and spend the night with him in the nude.

1 ) Nikola Tesla

The Serbian inventor that is most famous for winning the War of Currents also loved pigeons. He spent years inventing things he never got credit for, like the light bulb and radio, and even believed he could control the weather. He also felt that sex was a drain on creativity and completely pushed aside any woman that was interested in him. Sarah Bernhardt, a famous actress, tried her hardest to woo him but he considered her to be little more than a distraction from inventing a death ray. When asked about marriage, he replied: “I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.”

Source: http://ty.rannosaur.us/

These days the word “pervert” is mostly used to talk about sex, but it has more to do with taking a social norm and twisting it until it is something completely different. The following five authors managed to pervert social norms of their day. As an added bonus I’ll include a web community that the author would probably be a member of if they were alive today…

5) Lewis Carroll

Who was he?

The author of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. He was also a logician, mathematician, Anglican clergyman, and photographer. His use of logic, structure, and wordplay would endear him to a group of fans that make even the most hardcore Star Wars fanboy seem easygoing and understanding (Greedo shot first).

How was he a pervert?

Carroll was usually surrounded by an entourage of prepubescent girls. He would write them letters that included puzzles and tricks but they second they got too old for him, usually the onset of puberty, he’d drop them like a bad habit. Yes, much like Michael Jackson’s undying love for young boys, Lewis Carroll loved young girls – but only English girls, American girls were too rude for his tastes and boys were absolutely disgusting nude. Yes, nude. You see, he loved taking pictures of young girls in basements, naked, spread out across a bed and would then go home and write about “the inclinations of my sinful heart”.

What web community would he be a member of today?

A severely repressed celibate pedophile could only be a member Slashdot’s Linux section.

4) The Marquis de Sade

Who was he?

The author of Justine, a philosophical pornography wrapped around Libertine philosophy that would lay out the main justification for sadism. The Libertines were a bunch of bored aristocrats that believed that the highest pursuit was that of pleasure. This mostly entailed writing dirty poetry, going to orgies, and having gay sex while cursing the crown. By the time de Sade was born being a Libertine was common – even his father was a frequenter of orgies – but he found ways to make even the most jaded Libertine’s monocle pop out in shock.

How was he a pervert?

Christ, how wasn’t he a pervert is a better question. After getting bored with plain vanilla orgies he decided to lock a prostitute in a rented mansion and asked her to whip him. When she refused he did what most of us would: masturbated into a chalice, asked her to take an enema so she could empty her bowels onto a figurine of Jesus Christ, called the Roman Catholic Lord a “motherfucker”, used crucifixes to masturbate himself, and inserted a few communion hosts into her before entering her himself while screaming: “If thou art God, avenge thyself!” Eventually Napoleon had enough and it forced de Sade into an asylum where he spent the rest of his days writing stuff that made even the most explicit guro seem chaste.

What web community would he be a member of today?

A sadist that continually found new ways to make you say “Jesus, what the fuck?” could only be a member of 4chan.

3) Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Who was he?

A philosopher that promoted the idea that all humans were good by nature but the progress of science and art corrupted virtue and morality. He wrote The Social Contract, in which he justified the overthrow of any government that was not controlled by the people. This idea would inspire revolutions and reforms through most of Europe and even in the United States.

How was he a pervert?

There was only one thing Rousseau loved more than freedom for everyone and that was getting his bare ass spanked by women. While living as a vagabond for a few years he would frequently moon passing women in hopes of getting spanked. In Confessions, the first real autobiography, he discussed this obsession: “To fall at the feet of an imperious mistress, obey her mandates, or implore pardon, were for me the most exquisite enjoyments, and the more my blood was inflamed by the efforts of a lively imagination the more I acquired the appearance of a whining lover.”

What web community would he be a member of today?

An idealist that loves getting continually spanked and asking for more could only be a member of the Ron Paul Forums.

2) Horatio Alger, Jr

Who was he?

An author of over 130 different “city stories” that dominated the dime novel market of the 19th century with such a fury that he would often outsell Mark Twain. All of his stories featured young street urchins as characters that were all alone in the big city. They would slave away, saving money and each other, until one day a rich businessman would take notice and whisk the young boy off to a better life.

How was a pervert?

When he was a minister in Brewster, Massachusetts he started having sex with young boys in his congregation. After two came forward he confessed to a “practice”, resigned, and moved to New York. Many critics suggest that the street urchins he wrote about were actually homeless child laborers that spent their nights in slums and would often get raped by predatory rich men.

What web community would he be a member of today?

A pedophile that promises young boys a better life but ends up raping them could only be a member of MySpace.

1) F. Scott Fitzgerald

Who was he?

The author of The Great Gatsby and is considered, by many, to be one of the best American writers of the 20th century. His wife, Zelda Sayre, and he would epitomize the Jazz Age – a time when technology and modernist trends dominated society, art, and American culture.

How was he a pervert?

Fitzgerald is most famous for his foot fetish, but even that completely pales in comparison to the sheer amount of dickery he heaped upon his wife and got off on. He credited his wife’s vagina with his only truly successful book and by the time he was writing The Great Gatsby he discovered that sleeping with other women and excessive drinking made him just as creative. Eventually she started an affair with a French lieutenant, which he was fine with because she left him alone until she said she was going to leave him, at which point he locked her in their house and forced her to break off the affair. He would later state that he had orchestrated the affair just so he could base a character off his wife’s suffering. Eventually she went batshit insane, would practice ballet all day and night, wrote a tell-all book, and checked into an asylum. Fitzgerald responded by drinking more, moving to Hollywood to pursue a career at MGM, having an affair with a critic, and calling Zelda’s ballet and book a waste of time, money, and paper.

What web community would he be a member of today?

A drunk writer that got off on misogyny and women’s feet could only be a member of Suicide Girls.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8